I feel calm, cool and collected, no matter what. I feel in control of my destiny. I’m relaxed and confident. Hell, I feel damn sexy sometimes… Especially driving around in my 240SX.

I wish I was that way all the time, but I’m usually not.

Why not?

I’m not sure what it really is about driving one of my cars that does it to me. It’s like being around one of my best friends, who just makes me happy and I’m enjoying the company so much that I just don’t care about anyone else.

Really, I don’t know why I care about people’s overall opinion of me so much…. It’s dumb. It’s like caring how others think of my cars — No, I don’t care about your opinion, they’re my cars and built for me and not for you. Go build your own if you have a problem with something I do. (I often get weird reactions to my Silvia front end conversion plans. But it’s happening, you better believe it.)

So often I feel like the shy little 15 year old that I’m trying to escape. A girl who was too scared to wear skirts or be girly. Somebody who’d freak at the thought of modeling, haha.

And yet, here I am. Telling my story through my own blog, working on trying to build a modeling career even though I’m 5′4″ and have lots of ink and piercings. Nothing in my life seems typical, and that’s what I love so much about it.

Breaking barriers

I’ve made it my personal mission to smash stereotypes and be unusual. Pretty easy for me, really.

Much of the time it doesn’t bother me how people perceive me. I have my weak times, though, when I do. When I wonder why I don’t feel accepted by any group.

I have too many tattoos to be a girly girl. I’m a girl when it comes to cars. I want to become a better racer but I also expect myself to be able to teeter around in five inch heels.

I think I’m a walking conundrum or, at times, a living oxymoron.

The Driver’s Seat

Nothing in my life matters when I get into the driver’s seat. I’m totally focused on what I’m doing, on being a good driving partner to my car.

There are no distractions, only the task at hand. Complete focus. Complete control. Complete calmness.

I am at my best when I am in the driver’s seat.

I just want to take that best and bring it to everything I do… My best lessons in life have been learned in my cars, in the driver’s seat.

It’s not easy work.

First off, my respect for models has grown exponentially. That’s not to say that I never respected them, but you don’t realize how hard it actually is until you try it.

A photoshoot that lasts a couple of hours will wear you out. It’s tiring to keep posing, yet you still have to look as cute and fresh and happy as when you started. It’s not something you can keep up unless you’re having fun and you like it. I was actually a bit sore the next day after my second shoot. (My abs hurt, ha.)

It also makes you focus quite a bit on yourself. For me, it can drag up a lot of old thoughts of inadequacy and insecurity. I tend to over-scrutinize every little thing, and while I need to pay attention it isn’t something that needs to be super hardcore. Mostly it’s just keeping in good shape and clean and all the stuff you should do normally. (Only I can take it to extremes, especially when it comes to weight.)

So much for downsizing the closet…

Funny enough, I wanted to get rid of some of my clothes. Now I’ve come to realize that I need MORE clothes, ha.

Different shoots with different outfits require a wide variety of clothes I just don’t have, such as different color bikinis or nice dresses or any number of outfits. (Certainly matching undergarments, which I have little of, I hate to admit.)

So in the past month alone I’ve stepped back into the clothes shopping ring and gotten a few things with modeling in mind, and I also take it into consideration when I go to buy anything else. It’s funny doing it, but it helps make sure that I feel good in what I get and that it’s all very functional. (Ha! I’m even into function when it comes to clothes…. Lol.)

But I still search for good deals, just as I do for my car parts. I easily spent more on the 240SX and Miata in the last month than on clothes for me, no worries!!

Still hoping for car work!

My first shoot to get my portfolio started was with our S2000, so that was definitely car-related haha. The second shoot I did was a studio shoot, so the closest I got to cars was CarsxGirl’s current facebook profile picture, with a cute race-inspired outfit.

I’m planning on a lot of work with another local photographer, ranging a fair bit but incorporating some car work and also some bike work. With my tattoos, I’m pretty well suited for modeling with Harley’s, ha. I don’t mind though, because I adore bikes. I’m still working on getting one of my own…

Not sure where it’ll all go, but I’m working on finding my own place in the industry, which is all I can ask for. I used to think that my tattoos would hold me back from too much, until I realized that they really just set me apart… And when it comes to modeling, being different and having a great attitude are what it boils down to.

One thing I’d like to try is becoming an HIN girl, though I’m not sure how that’ll all work out… And while import models have a pretty bad rap, I’d like to think that wouldn’t stop me from being one and showing how different some girls are.

After all, I seem to love breaking stereotypes… Why not take it to another level?

I mean the kind you get when you’ve been doing something for too long at too crazy of a pace and you just can’t seem to keep going anymore.

Say what?

It’s not that I don’t like cars anymore, definitely not! But it’s been such a crazy time with them that other areas of my life have been, well, somewhat neglected.

As much as I hate to admit it, I like being girly and shopping for clothes and painting my nails and all sorts of other things. And when I wanted to get into modeling, the goal was to get in with car-related shoots… But it’s all things I need to work up to. (Which means doing other things for now.)

When I got into cars, I kinda cut that out… It worked for a little while, but certainly wasn’t going to last for any long period of time.

I think somewhere is my happy car medium, where they aren’t neglected themselves but they aren’t the only thing I ever do.

Slow down?

I guess part of me wants to slow down, but I definitely have been doing that and it seems to be working.

My 365 project has been harder now than it was before with the car tie-in. I feel like I’d want to explore other bits of photography, but I also have been doing so good with the car thing too so it’s hard to want to move away from that. I managed half the year so far, why not keep going, right?

I mean, a photobook half of cars and then half of everything else would be kinda weird… So I’ll probably keep going with that. (And I haven’t missed a day yet! *crosses fingers*)

And the cars have definitely gotten work done. All of them will have gotten new bits and pieces this summer, most notably the S2000 (Spoon wheel & Bride seat) and the 240SX (working! and new wheels/tires) while the Miata only got a replacement wheel and new tires. (But 180 tread tires! )

As for the blog…

I plan on continuing the blog, how could I not? I’ve gotten a great positive response from people and will continue to keep up my twice weekly schedule. It’s almost been a full year for this blog anyhow!

Tomorrow I’m getting up nice and early to meet with some friends and go to Formula D’s round four, so that’ll be exciting. I’m looking forward to sharing my experiences from that!

But I also think I may go for more of the car life aspect than just the cars. Because really, that’s what my life is… Cars are so ingrained in it that I can’t separate them out, they’re just there.

They also aren’t everything, though. It may work longer for some people, but I don’t think I’m one of them. I’m not giving up, but I am scaling it to a more long-term manageable level.

Definitely stick around, I promise to keep trying my best to have interesting things to say and share.

But….

Here’s the official introduction on my blog to my new ink! As of this publication, it is about eight days old, or maybe seven and a half if you wanna get technical.

What it is.

For those who really know cars, it’s pretty obvious — it’s a connecting rod with some flowers.

I originally went in to just get the rod, and the suggestion of flowers came up. I make sure I pick good artists to begin with, so their suggestions of what will look good and what won’t are usually always followed. (It’s what they do for a living, after all.) As in every other time suggestions came up, I absolutely love love love how it turned out! It’s more than I ever expected and I love it.

We found a good angle for the rod, and the flowers give it a nice girly but not overwhelmingly girly touch. I’m totally psyched to be sporting what I feel is a clear step in defining myself as a true car girl.

Next up?

The way it ended up coming out, it fit perfectly a bit higher on my arm than I was expecting. No worries, since the next bit of work I wanted to get was going to be a couple of these little buggers:

Intake/Exhaust valves!

In the mean time…

Pics or ban, right? Oh, if you’re wondering about the other ink that’s peeking a bit in the picture, you can see that here!

This was right after it was done, so yes, the color will fade a bit.

My arm swelled up big time, shading is a PAIN. (Hurts, lol.) You can really tell how the area swelled up.

I couldn't be happier with it... Hoping to finish off this half of the sleeve-work soon.

I’m so into cars that…

• I dye my own hair
• I limit myself to $20 for lunches… For two weeks
• Each of my girls has her own bank account (Miata & 240SX, S2k’s not mine to mod )
• I use all of the VS free panty coupons I get so I don’t have to pay for them myself
• My non-automotive spending is strictly monitored
• I don’t buy new books, only used
• I consider ramen noodles to be a yummy meal, by itself
• All shoes are bought with “Can I drive in these?” in mind
• I’m a bargain-hunting fiend when it comes to clothes
• I use various ways to obtain gift cards to spend on clothes, so I don’t have to spend my checks on clothing
• I only wear eye shadow, mascara and lip gloss
• If I want pretty nails, I paint them myself
• I own a grand total of one bikini
• My phone’s screensaver is always something car-related
• I write this blog about cars ;3
• I’ve been accused of having my facebook be just about my cars
• Almost all of my Flickr photos are of cars
• I’m motivated by the thought of owning a set of $3k+ wheels
• I know what toe, camber and caster all are
• I currently have three car-related tattoos
• If you gave me $1,000 to spend right now, I’d buy a Bride seat for my 240SX
• I want to learn to drive in heels so I can own a pair of Louboutin heels…
• I don’t want said Louboutins if I cannot drive in them
• Instead of having a wedding, we bought our S2000 (No lie.)
• I’ve ordered prints of my own car photos to use as art decorations in our house
• We commissioned an artist to draw our S2000 from a picture (You’ll see what I mean on Friday… )
• Our house has minimal furniture…. Like, no dining room table
• Every vacation involves cars and/or racing in some form

And I bet there are a ton more, but that was just the ones off the top of my head.

$1k that I HAD to spend would get me this pretty I've been lusting after...

So what do cars make you do that other people may consider weird or not worth it?

PS — Happy birthday Mom!!!!

She was my first…

It’s not completely unusual to see cars being towed around here, as it is for most places I’m sure. But I hardly could believe what I was seeing here… The back end was completely unmistakable — a 240SX. She was very unique, though, as I could already tell she was a light lavender color, had a wing and altezza tails. (I still don’t like the altezzas, on anything but the Toyota Altezza.)

So I caught up to it and kinda sat next to it, taking her in. That’s when I noticed the “D1 Grand Prix” sticker above her competition number… Uh, hello, she drifts for a living! This was definitely driven home when I noticed her wheels – bronze Advans. Yeah, most people around here don’t roll on legit wheels like that. Or carry two sets of extra tires.

At that point, I knew she had to belong to an amateur drifter, as I had never seen any photos of the car before. And yes, I do follow drifting. Not religiously, but enough to know the cars and some of the drivers and what not. (Important things like Forsberg being the FD champion of 2009 in his 350Z, ya know?)

I also cursed my luck at not having my camera in easy access to snap a pic, not having the time to be able to stalk follow her and talk to the guys and for driving the Miata that day. I guess I thought if I had my 240SX I wouldn’t be so creepy then, but maybe I was a bit creepy anyhow. (If they noticed me.)

The search began.

As soon as I got home, I immediately began a search to find out about the car and to confirm my suspicions. Sadly, I couldn’t find anything on the car…

I had one snippet of a video from Risky Devils where I thought I saw the car, but I couldn’t be sure.

And then, one day, I found her… Thanks to the coverage by Speedhunters and MotorMavens on the Pro-Am drift event at Irwindale. It came as no shock that she’s from Texas, because that was the only logical reason why I would have run into her in that particular stretch of road going that direction in Arkansas.

It took me a while, but I finally found her out...

Okay, and…?

You may be wondering why I brought this up. I feel funny saying this, but I have a weird affection for this car for being the first drift car I’ve ever actually seen in person.

Yeah, for all of my love and obsession with drifting, I have thus far been completely removed from any involvement in it. Other that, you know, sliding around my Miata when it’s wet out.

This is part of the reason why I am completely ecstatic to get to Washington… I’ll be able to finally go and see some live drifting, hooray!!!

For now, I’ll have to be content that at least I’ve been in the presence of a car that goes and has a very good life, as far as I’m concerned. I can’t wait to see more cars that are lucky like her!

(Funny enough, MotorMavens just did an entire post on this car, here! Now I know, and will be eagerly watching her in the pros!)

I also lament quite a bit that I don’t know many other girls like myself. It’s insanely rare for me to find another girl who’s into cars, let alone a girl who’s interested in cars and not completely stupid about them. I don’t care if your style’s different than mine, but I’d like you to at least understand where I’m coming from if I can understand where you’re coming from. Feel me here?

A moody me?

So I’m wondering if I’m being a bit moody and snobbish when it comes to other girls and cars to begin with. I know I’m the real deal, and I fight hard to prove to everyone that I’m genuine. I’m not here to pretend and pick up guys… Oh, no. I’m here because I love cars and am passionate about the culture. It’s entirely my choice, and I love how my entire life is about cars. (For the most part anyhow!)

In fact, one of my greatest ambitions is to help advance women in the tuning world. You know, kinda show guys that us girls can play hard, too. I’d like to think that getting Rookie of the Year helps me do this, as well as write this blog, engine swap my 240SX and just having the Miata that I do, all modified by yours truly here. Hopefully it all gives me some credibility.

My Miata's entirely built by me.... And me alone. She's all mine.

I’ve also only gotten started on that car tattoo sleeve-work here. Why am I going to do that for a front? Answer: I absolutely wouldn’t. My tattoos define what is most important to me… No compromising.

Play nice!

I think I’m not playing nice enough here… And that realization kinda sucked. I realized that I wasn’t being the sort of girl I’d be inclined to chat with if I ran into me. Yeah, ouch. I’ve become much too jaded from some really bad examples of “car girls.” And that is most definitely not fair. Not all girls are like that… Duh.

Just because a girl is doing something, well, girly, doesn’t mean it’s no good. Of all people, I should know how much those judgements sting. I drive a car that’s traditionally viewed as girly… The Mazda Miata. Seriously…

I’m stopping now!

I’m simply going to apologize for my bitchy ways. I’ve been horribly moody and even jealous that some girls end up with attention and adoration from the guys, sometimes with less time & effort put into their cars. It’s only worse because I’ve nearly always been one-upped by other girls, and I still can’t figure out why.

Well, then I got into cars. And found out that there are very few girls in this hobby. So I ended up with attention, yay! But I ‘m still constantly end up feeling upstaged by the girls who have more money to spend, or finished projects. Like I’m somehow less awesome because my cars are mid-project and not progressing quickly, or that they’re “common” and/or old.

Whatever, right? I’m cool in my own right…. And I need to be cool with who I am, regardless of how others are.

Developing: One New Attitude.

Since this realization, I have been trying my best to monitor my behavior. It’s not easy, because as I said, I was jaded. I’ve seen the bad part of it, and the girls who were what I never wanted to be like… And yet, there I was, trying to prove I was somehow better, when that’s totally not what it’s about.

I’m not necessarily better or worse, I just am. If anything else, I’m different in my value of performance, my need to go faster. I want to improve my driving and my car’s performance, not just park hard. Nothing in this world makes me feel more alive than laying out laps around a road course. That’s me, though. The world sure doesn’t need another me. That would be boring.

It’s always been my hope that, someday, I’d actually have some girls for friends who were into cars too. (Maybe us girls could even create a group of our own? Or I’d join one if it already exists.) I want to set aside differences, not be bitchy and just be cool. Perhaps, someday, I’ll have this. At least I’d like to think so.

Live and learn, right? As long as I’m growing and changing in the right direction…

(But I reserve the right to continue to dislike car-retarded car models. I think they’re dumb, period. At least read up on some facts for your job, serious.)

I’ve finally found my place

It’s taken me years and years and years, but I have finally found my own place. And you know what? I’m super happy in it. In fact, I can hardly believe that I’ve found something that I’m kinda sorta good at (well, not bad at least) and that I thoroughly enjoy.

My place, of course, is with cars and racing.

Feeling at home

When I first started getting into it all, I wasn’t so sure about it. There seemed like a lot more about cars that I could ever understand, and it sounded scary to actually go out and race myself. Slowly, I warmed up to the whole idea… And when I started modifying the Miata, I knew I would then have to make use of the money I was spending on upgrades.

Little did I know that, a full year after my first autocross, I’d have a moderately modified Miata, a project 240SX, plenty of autocrosses under my belt and even my first track experience. It’s been crazy, but I’ve loved every bit of it. 2009 was a very full year as far as cars and racing went!

Now, it’s almost routine to go to an autocross and get ready for it. The nervousness that I feel before I run hasn’t gone away, but I’ve come to feel positive about it, not at all like it’s a bad feeling. The adrenaline is exciting, and even if I don’t have a good run, I still learn a lot… And no matter what, I was still out there and doing it, not on the sidelines just talking about it.

It helps to be rewarded

I definitely give a lot of credit to the people who have supported me so far. Especially my husband, for being patient with me through the, “Well, I might be into cars…” phase, until I finally took the leap, got the mod bug and haven’t looked back since. I’m also thankful for all the various mentors I’ve had from the autocrosses, for all the compliments and helpful tips, they really made me feel proud even when I thought I was having a really bad day. And, of course, the comments on this blog… They always make me happy.

However, I love having the few trophies and things that I do to look at when I’m feeling down. They remind me that hard work and effort does get rewarded, and that I can get even more if I take the time, work at it and persevere through the down days.

Then again, I never had anything with my name on it as a kid. You know how everyone who plays sports or belongs to a club in high school has a shirt for it with their name on it? Well, I never had that… I missed out on that sort of thing. Now, though, I have it… It was definitely worth the wait!

And I have to say, being a racer sounds a whole lot cooler than any “regular” sport to me.

I'm definitely glad to have the hobby that I do!

(And while I’m not a huge fan of sharing pictures… Well, why not, right? I’m not all that bad looking I suppose. )

Can a girl be really into cars and still maintain a high level of fashion? Is this possible? Or am I just lamenting my student lifestyle and (monetary) limitations?

I think I am, but I still feel the need to get it out of my head and written down in someway, it always helps me organize my thoughts and see things better. Make more sense of them and what not. And, well, it’s part of my life as a female tuner.

My deal.

Okay, as a girl, I like clothes and shopping and girly stuff like that that most guys really don’t like at all. Since I do like clothes and shopping, I like to have some money to put towards it and stuff. And we all know that money is a limited resource… For me, being a student, it’s fairly slim pickings for sure.

I have yet to figure out what a girl’s to do when two things like this clash over such a limited resource. I’d think it’s fairly obvious, though, that so far… Cars are winning.

I like it this way, but…

And I really like that my cars get most of my money and most of my attention, but I don’t want to feel dowdy in comparison. Maybe it’s partly something I get from being married young, but I have an intense fear of feeling old and out of date and just frumpy… Even though I’m really not any different from anyone else my age.

In an effort to not feel this way, I sometimes want to step up what I wear and how I look/dress. I want to feel well put-together and confident when walking around, not just when I’m behind the wheel of a car. I want to be as pretty or as cute as my cars are.

But… I have a nasty penchant for expensive clothes. Well, at least well-made clothes, and I have a hard time finding really good quality clothing that fits me properly. I also like to have good accessories, which I’m willing to spend more on than clothes really, since I can wear them more often. My latest expensive fashion lust is a $390 necklace from Tiffany… And it’s only silver.

For some reason, admitting that is just plain scary.

High maintenance?

I feel so… High maintenance saying that. I mean, it’s a piece of jewelry, and that’s it, right? And I have a necklace already in the same sort of style… One I’ve had for a couple of years, that isn’t real silver and is turning colors because of the low quality. I’d love to wear it everyday, but I don’t since I’m worried it’ll get my neck too dirty and all. A high quality silver necklace definitely wouldn’t be doing that, so I’d be way more inclined to wear it every day.

But damn, that same amount of money buys a lot for a car!!!

And that’s just one itty bitty part of outfits that I’m talking about. I also seem to like high quality designer handbags and fairly expensive shoes. (Shoes that I can’t seem to drive in, boo.) While I have a few Coach bags, I don’t want to just end there and I’m getting kinda weary of carrying around an obviously logo’d bag… I think I want something a bit higher class without such an obvious print, a Chloé, perhaps? Though I do want to own at least one pair of Christian Louboutin shoes…. Love the signature red sole.

Is there a stereotype to break?

I guess I can’t really break any new stereotypes doing this that I haven’t already? I’m a fairly tiny girl who’s into cars and actually doing her own work, when she can and isn’t going to f it all up. Into performance and track racing and autocross and grassroots drifting, not all flash and show. Yeah, already weird and different.

Is it possible for a girl to balance her own appearance with the process of building a car? I’m sure it is. I kinda want to find out… Though building a wardrobe is a daunting, costly task in and of itself, aside from trying to move forward with car builds simultaneously.

Then again, I can invest a bit of money up front and not have to think about it any more… My worst clothes spending actually comes in the form of car shirts, to be honest. I’d like to build up a decent girly wardrobe that can incorporate oversized car shirts. As of yet, only a handful of shirts I’ve found come sized for women, and iloveracing.com is my usual source for actual fitted car shirts. I know I can make the bigger ones work, if I pull it off right… I just don’t have the right clothes in my closet right now. (I’m thinking of starting to fix this, we’ll see how it goes.)

So what is a girl to do?

Like I said before, I’m trying to figure that out. I can only assume that piecing a wardrobe together is how it’s going to be for me. I love my cars way too much to halt progress for something as trivial as a bag or a coat or jeans or shoes or anything like that. I have a few girly habits and likes, but really, I limit it… Being a girl can get expensive, and my cars aren’t getting any cheaper. My girls are more important to me than me being girly, they can speak for me most of the time.

I mean, how interesting would it be if I wrote about how I blew my money on clothes and maybe got a new keychain? Yeah, not cool. Especially if I’m claiming to be a car girl; car first, girl second.

Not everything’s car related…

Surprisingly, not every reason why I’m excited has to do with cars! (*Gasp*!!)

But that’s only one or two, honestly… The first is just going some place new, that’s always exciting. What’s nice this time is that it really isn’t the middle of no where that I’m going! The last two moves I’ve made haven’t been that great, and this is the first that I’m really really really excited about. And it’s not the places themselves so much as it is me. I just see myself as fitting in in Washington more than I have any other place I’ve been so far.

Another is getting to change schools. The new one I’m looking at offers a minor in Japanese… Um, totally freaking awesome. Yeah, sign me up for that!! I would love to get to do that, which would be awesome. I’ve been really frustrated with school because of the boring classes that I have to take, but Japanese sounds extremely interesting and also fairly challenging. (I really like being challenged, and my classes now just aren’t doing that so much.)

And then there’s being able to find another job! I’ve been frustrated with my job as well, but now it doesn’t make any sense to try and switch. It’s a nice feeling to know that I’ll be done soon enough, and I only have to put up with it for so much longer… Definitely makes it a bit easier to go. It kinda sucks having to leave, but I wholly plan on moving to bigger and better things, like picking a job that fits me better and isn’t as frustrating, I hope. I’d love to be able to be picky to a fair degree this time around!

Okay, okay… Most of it is though.

But the whole car thing, I am so so so so so looking forward to it.

First off, there’s being four and a half hours or so away from Seattle. I’ve seen pictures of some of the cars that run around that city. And I was smitten. Not only that, but I’ve had some starry-eyed obsession with Seattle for a while, and finally knowing that I’ll get to go and see the city first hand… Well, I’m totally stoked.

Then again, it’s not like Spokane can suck that bad. The county owns and operates it’s own track… Spokane County Raceway. Oh, and I don’t even need to mention the Track Photographer for a Day program, do I?! If I wasn’t set on getting a dSLR camera by the time we move, well, I am totally set on it now. Not only am I improving with my car pictures, but I’ll have way more opportunities to practice on awesome cars! It kinda sucks not being able to have that much around here to take pictures of.

Picture opportunities, and more stuff to write about… Yeah, I’m totally in love.

In 2009, Formula D stopped by Monroe, WA for an event…. I’m hoping they return for 2010. I’d so be there for that, too. I may not be a huge fan of Formula D, but I’m not going to snub a chance to go and finally see some drifting live.

Plus there’s the whole being near the west coast thing, and all the events in California that I’ve wanted to go to are finally going to be in reach!! I’m making it to Laguna Seca, and I’m going to find a way to drive there… Track days, Miata event, I don’t really care, I’ll find something!

It’s just going to be so awesome!!

Must be patient…

The worst part of it all is having to be patient. Oh, and we might end up getting a house with a garage. A garage!! Yippee!! That itself is going to be great, along with not having to worry so much about doing the SR20DET swap for my 240SX. Flights to Japan are also much, much cheaper… So while we won’t get to go to Europe any time soon, we can plan on Japan instead!

Plus winters, with snow, so we can go snowboarding…. Sigh, can you tell I’m ready to leave?!

Thankfully, there’s a huge list of things that need to be done before we move, so I need to keep my head out of the clouds for the most part and keep working on what needs to get done. The reward is going to be well worth it though, for sure!!