What is it that makes the idea of having a new project car so appealing?

Am I the only one who’s always thinking about the next project instead of focusing on what I’ve got in front of me?

^Current Project: New suspension and tires for the S2000…. Need $$$ :/

I’m probably having way too much fun picking out what I’d like to have for my next project…..

Just wondering if I’m alone in all of this! ^_^;

Perhaps the most amusing comment people make about our STi is how great she looks in red. It amuses me because I have always thought that STi’s look good in red…. They’re just so prolific in World Rally Blue that nobody pays much attention to red. (Funny enough, I’ve seen none of the new sedans in WRB…. In person I mean. They do exist.)

So, after Enkei posted a photo of an older WRX with STi trim dressed in red and wearing RPF1′s, I figured I could spend some time hunting down more red WRX’s and STi’s and sharing just how well these ladies look in red!

The Cars

Enkei posted this photo of this WRX with STi aero and RPF1's and it made me wonder.... Why was there no stock red STi until 2008?!?!

Seriously, they look fantastic in red...

Another WRX. I believe the WRX had two different color Reds, while the STi didn't get a red from Subaru until Lightning Red.

*Like*

One for the hatchback fans....

 My STi

Of course, the biggest requirement for our STi was that she was red... So when this one popped up in our area, it was little question she'd come home with us.

I couldn't post up red WRX's and STi's without having mine included. This is back when she was stock, and she's not now, but not too crazy either.

I hear it all the time, and I’m sure you do too — the saying that it “never hurts to ask.” I always remember one other about asking too — “If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.”

Usually I try to remember this with car people. Since I really enjoy taking photos of cars, occasionally I’ll ask if it’s okay if it’s not at a meet or something. Usually people are fine about it, but usually I just end up being a parking lot creeper. (Which is fine by me, ha. I’ll play the part of a creeper!)

Anyhow, this little tale doesn’t have much to do with cars, save for the fact that it has to relate to my new gadget toy, my iPad, which I’m going to be using to help me write more, and the fact that saving money on other things frees up more money to be spent on the cars.

The Sunday before Black Friday, I broke down and finally decided to order my iPad. As great as I am about spending money on the cars, I suck when it comes to bigger amounts on anything else that’s as much of a want as the iPad was. Either way, I got it ordered up and was glad to have it done and over with.

Enter in Black Friday. Now, I probably should have thought about it, but I accept that Apple products pretty much never go on sale. I’m fine with it, and really, I like just knowing how much it’ll be and being done with it. But, of course, even Apple has Black Friday deals. And my beloved iPad, which conveniently arrived on the day, was $41 cheaper. Ouch.

Normally I would just chalk this up to my luck. I have an odd history of this sort of thing happening with me and Apple things, so I figured it was more irony of my life. This time, however, I decided to do something I usually never do…..

I decided to call customer service and ask for a price match. I figured it was less than a week and maybe they’d cut me some slack. And hey, it doesn’t hurt to ask and the worse they could say is no and I’d be no worse for wear.

Of course, the answer was no. I wasn’t upset over it, and was proud of myself for asking. But instead of being able to price match, I was offered a case for free! Huzzah!!!

The case is sold in their store for $28, so while I’m still out $13 it’s still less than the $41 I was before I had even bothered to ask.

^The cover they’re sending me.

I’m hoping this is enough to get me to learn the lesson finally and stop being afraid to ask people for things. It was a great victory for me, not only in terms of getting over my fear of asking but in actually getting a positive result.

Who knows, maybe next year I won’t be afraid to approach people about their cars….?!

I’m afraid I don’t have too much car-related, and that I won’t for a few months. Winter weather has made its appearance and the cold makes me not want to do much of anything. (Other than go and finally buy a snowboard and hit the mountain.)

This Saturday I’ll be heading out to the Porsche dealership for the Club’s Tech Session, but other than that I’ve been swamped with work… Which gives me way too much time to think. And come up with posts like this, heh.

As many of you know, my husband is military. We live on a military base. I work on the same base we live on, resulting in an awesomely short five minute commute. However, this is about the best part of it.

I pretty much despise being surrounded by it so much. It’s almost soul-crushing, no kidding. Why? People around here just like to be so… Mediocre.

I mean this because they never seem to aspire to anything. I have my dreams and hopes and things I want to accomplish, but most people seem to think that having dreams and actually achieving them are impossible. I just don’t get it.

I’m working on selling both the Miata and the 240sx. Part of me does want to set aside a fairly large chunk of the resulting sales to put towards my first 911. I’m tempted to find the 911 SC of my dreams and get one… But at the same time, it would cause such a fuss to bring one home I’m not sure that I can. (Why I really want the bike, and also because the bike is easier to move when we end up PCSing again.)

I can probably find a good 911 SC for around $17,000. She may or may not need an engine rebuild, but even if she does after that she’d be good for quite some time and quite some miles. As much as I adore modern 911′s, the 911 SC is my favorite. I love the old school looks and the whale tail, I can’t get over it. I want it.

But as much as I know I could probably do this, I have to think about whether or not people are going to get dumb over it. When my husband took the S2000 to our last base, he actually got investigated for selling drugs because some guy thought it was a Porsche. So my fears aren’t without reason — It’s because we were investigated for having a Porsche when we didn’t. I don’t know what will happen when we do. (Even if I end up getting an SC for under $20,000.)

I know cars aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. But what I don’t understand is why I feel like I’m punished for what I like and what I hopelessly spend a ton of money on. It should be my right to spend my money how I please and not have to answer to anybody, but here it feels like I have to. Like me achieving a dream of mine is somehow wrong.

I already know I’m weird — I should be graduating college soon with my bachelor’s (better late than never?), I have a job and I prefer to work. Actually, I have two jobs, my regular one and one that I pick up when I can. I could have a third regularly if I wanted it, and I just signed up to do mystery shopping for my other days. And right now I’m working just over 40 hours a week, and am on day #18 in a row for work.

I don’t have kids, nor do I want them. I only have a cat and no dog. I don’t want to spend my days sitting at home, and I go to the gym and actually work out until I’m tired and not half-ass it.

For most of the people I know, this is normal. For where I live and the people I’m surrounded by, I’m really, really, really weird. And I don’t mind it…. Except when what I do is made other people’s business and it actually affects what I feel I can and cannot do.

I know I’ll get my 911 eventually. I know I’ll even have the 911 SC that I covet. The sad part is I may not have her as soon as I want her.

But I will have her. Someday. Idiots that surround me be damned.

For me, cars have never been about making one look pretty and letting her just sit around. I much preferred having a scratched paint job that I didn’t have to feel guilty about scratching myself.

Drifting

While I am head over heels in love with road course driving and racing, I have a huge soft spot for drifting.

Matt Powers' S14 at Formula Drift last year at Evergreen. My first look at real drift cars (and drifting) in person!

I may not have been following it for the longest, but I definitely grew my appreciation for the sport through watching bits of the D1GP, not Formula D like many modern-day drift fans. To me, drifting was Silvias and AE86′s, with some RX-7′s, Skylines and miscellaneous other cars mixed in.

Not surprisingly, I then developed a huge crush on Silvias and AE86′s. I wanted one and I wanted to build one so I could learn to drift too.

I never expected to actually get a 240SX, let alone as soon as I did… Then I had to ask, should I drift or should I not?

Reasons to Drift

My strongest reason why I wanted to was because I felt my 240SX deserved to do it at least once. This is just about what she was born to do, and I feel that it would be sad for her to never get the chance to do it.

I also want to learn myself. Yeah, I’ve drifted before. But not on a track and not really meaning to. And I can safely bet it didn’t look pretty, if it looked like anything at all.

Drifting is about control at its very limits, which is always a great thing to learn. I can never learn enough about car control, pushing limits and racing.

Plus I think it’d be a ton of fun to go to drifting school and a great experience to have, even though I’ve never planned on doing it past going to a school for it.

Reasons Not to Drift

I think, sadly, my reasons to not drift my 240SX outweigh my reasons to drift her…

For one, she’s suffering from car cancer — rust. She’s got some pretty bad spots too…. I hate thinking about it, because I don’t know what to do about it. We either have to patch her up, if we even can at this level, or find a new chassis. It’s really something I don’t want to think about too much.

The worry with the rust is that in the spots it is (near her suspension) that the stress of drifting would be too much for her.

Secondly, I’m terrified at the thought of hurting her. I’m not sure if that would happen in a drifting school environment or not, but the worry is definitely there. The last thing I want to do is have to replace her kouki tail lights. (Not cheap.)

I also don’t think my husband would like the idea of driving her across the state for a drift school, haha. I don’t know if I like it too much either. Of course I want to get her to the true Pacific Northwest, but with her age & condition I don’t know if I could justify stressing her that much.

I guess I’d rather get her to a huge Nissan meet rather than run the risks of drifting her…

Alternative?

I guess the alternative is going to drift school in the Miata…. I might look into that. It might be a fun thing for us to do, and perhaps a bit better for my driving skills to actually do it in the car that I race. (Especially for learning precisely where the Miata’s limit is.)

I would worry about cracking her up, but her rear bumper is already scratched to hell. Plus I replaced her driver’s side tail light and rear finish panel before — all the damage from her dump truck encounter. And while it sucked, it wasn’t terribly expensive. I’d worry more about having to buy ANOTHER RPF1, lol.

Plus I have no qualms about driving her across the state to race her and then drive her home. My husband still worries about this, but she did Hallett just fine and that was a good five hour drive each way. I’m hoping to do just that this summer anyhow. (For grip driving, not drifting!)

Time to Think

I plan on taking plenty of time to think it over, and possibly talk with drifters and the people who put on the schools to see. I have a feeling if I did it it would be in the Miata though.

Perhaps someday I’ll get my 240SX out to a drift event just to be there, maybe a car show that’s with the drifting event so I don’t have to park her where I can’t really watch her… Plus I want her to be a pretty show car too, I just expect her to drive as well. No point if she’s pretty and can’t drive herself anywhere!!

Another of my photos from Formula D last year.

At the very least, I want to make it out to Evergreen for their grassroots and pro-am drifting series and play photographer. (I mean, I kinda have to go and use the media pass I was granted! )

I figured I’d talk about my plans for this summer, since I’m very much so looking forward to it.

To sum it up:

Racing, Racing, Racing, Racing and Racing. And a couple of events, but mostly Racing.

Did I mention Racing? Okay, just checking.

Autocross

For one, I plan on starting to autocross again. I’m not sure how much I’ll do, though my suspicion is that I’ll do more of this than anything else solely because it’s cheaper.

Sadly, I don’t get to autocross with the SCCA because they’re too far away, but I’ll join up with the local club to do this.

Track Days

I’m also hoping to get in some good instruction this year…

There’s Spokane County Raceway that I really need to get out on. I’ve been dying to.

Then there are some instruction days for a school about five hours away that’s with the SCCA for Autocross.

There’s my wanting to go to Bremerton to join my SCCA region on the track… I’m really excited that my region has club racing and rallycross! (Even though I miss my old region badly.)

Oh, and then I’m crossing my fingers for a HPDE in Portland with Redline Time Attack…. That would be icing on the cake.

All in all, I’m hoping for two or three track days. This is rather ambitious considering I’m not so sure how I’ll pay for it yet…

Events

Off the top of my head, I can think of four major ones that I want to attend this year.

There’s Formula Drift, which I went to last year and definitely want to go back to.

There’s going to be a rather large Subaru gathering in the PNW that I want to go to as well. Sure, we only have a Legacy right now, but I’m a huge STi lover. (Never thought I’d say that a few years ago…) Plus they’re going to have ride-alongs with rally school instructors. Um, yes please!

Third there’s the XDC stop in Seattle. Definitely want to make it out to that to see what it’s all about.

And last but definitely not least is when Redline Time Attack stops in Portland. Which I’m hoping to race with if they do have a HPDE and also enjoy finally being around the series I dream of racing in myself one of these days.

I also keep getting told to go to Import Alliance… So I might plan the trip out there and hang out with the very cool Team Function guys.

If I find other big events I’ll certainly add them to my calendar if possible, but these are trips I know I want to make already.

(I should note that I will probably visit the local Friday night drag races, local autocrosses and possibly a couple of trips to Evergreen throughout the summer. I just wanted to share which bigger events I’m planning on.)

Modifications

My 2011 plans would not be complete without some work done to my own cars!

For the Miata, I’m planning on upgraded sway bars from Flyin’ Miata. And maybe, just maybe, saving up for a used Torsen LSD. Those two would make excellent additions to her race setup as well as steps towards her future turbo kit.

Most of my work I hope to put into my 240SX. I really want this summer to be the one that sees the purchase of her Silvia front end. I’m really excited to keep moving her towards show car status, but still keeping her totally functional. (I’m still tempted to take her to drifting school in the next few years.)

She needs new brake pads & rotors badly, and while I want to do a five-lug conversion I want to push that back in favor of the front end right now. Buying her third set of wheels isn’t all that appealing yet.

Lastly, I would love to buy her a rear differential as well. Open diff on her is much different than the Miata — she has way more power. I need to harness her power better. Sadly, I want to buy new and they cost one hell of a pretty penny…

As for the S2000, I really want to get her Megan Racing’s rear upper control arm kit. We’re dealing with an unknown issue that’s preventing her from running even factory camber in the rear and nobody can tell us why. It’s our hope that adjustable control arms can help fix her enough to run a factory alignment. Right now replacing the entire rear subframe is an option but a pretty costly one.

Fall = New Car

Perhaps my biggest piece of news is our decision on a new car. (I seem to talk about this a lot, huh?!)

This winter we were pretty much forced into buying a winter car… The S2000 was unable to move around okay in the snow and we were stuck otherwise. So we went and bought ourselves a 2003 Subaru Legacy GT.

Our little snow baby, who's made sure we haven't been stranded at home!

As much as we love the Legacy, she is a bit…. Dull. And since we didn’t get the cool turbo version, she’s pretty slow too. But the AWD is fantastic. (She is a manual, if anyone was wondering.)

So, after some deliberation, we decided to pay her off, save up some cash for a down payment and trade her in on a new car before next winter.

We’re getting a 2011 (or maybe 2012 by then?) Subaru WRX STi sedan. In red.

I cannot tell you how excited we are!

As this post is already quite long, I won’t get into it too much here. I’ll make it a post all it’s own. Just know I’m not kidding this time! Haha.

And that’s pretty much my rough plans for this summer. I’m so ready to get it all started…

Well, for a little while in my college career I was a finance major. I found personal finance, found I was good at it and figured I’d study it for a while. Chemistry wasn’t working out for me anyhow.

I’m not a finance major anymore, but I still manage the money. I have huge plans and projections that go out to the end of the year and a bunch of crazy stuff that it seems most people ignore.

Afford or not?

Personally, I feel like our biggest victory is not owing a single penny on any of our cars, both the cars themselves and their modifications.

It’s our hobby and we don’t borrow money to fund it, it’s all taken care of. Debt? Not here. The credit cards are just tools. (Mine’s my favorite tool, it gives me cash back. )

Most people seem to assume that we have car loans. I usually don’t even think of what people do or do not pay for cars. I tend to assume people have car loans, too, just because that seems to be how people are… “Car loans are a part of life.”

What if they weren’t? Nobody bothers to ask that. You need a car, cars are expensive, where else will you get the money? *shrug*

Digging the hole…

So most people have car loans. That could be good or bad, depending on whether the person can admit how much they can or cannot afford.

Then there’s the other side of people that I do NOT understand at all: building cars on credit cards.

Seriously. Any time I hear that I want to ask the person, “Are you absolutely freakin’ retarded?!?”

Then again, I guess it goes along the same lines as the silly pretest things they make you do for student loans… The “you do realize you have to pay this all back, right?” Um, duh. It’s a loan.

Odd Disconnect

I guess people have this disconnect with cards and real money. For me, spending cash is painless… Spending on credit? That’s my money, lol.

It’s even worse when the people talking about modding cars on credit don’t even have anything good…

Or the sad story of a guy with a heavily modified S2000 and the car ended up getting repossessed. Tell me how much that sucks making huge credit card payments for mods on a car you don’t even have anymore.

I just don’t get it. My husband’s the kind who would, and he’s tried explaining it to me but I just don’t see it as a viable option. It’s so extra expensive that the benefits are far outweighed by the costs.

I suppose it’s because I’m a horribly patient person sometimes. I can be patient as long as I have a plan. Americans, as a whole, are very impatient… Now, now, now!

Affording Better

Basically, I want to avoid all the debt I can, because I want to afford something better.

Better, like these pretties… Because I can. Easily. Just give me a few years to straighten myself out, find the career for me (I now have a good idea of that…) and start working on it.

My first Ferrari will probably be one of her. (Oh, and I LOVE this photo...)

I still do want a 360 Modena, but I want her to be my track-only Ferrari. (Yeah, that's also affordable.)

No mention of Ferrari is complete without my favorite 550 Maranello. This is the Ferrari for me!

I still want my first Ferrari before I’m 30…

Or maybe my 30th birthday, just to give my plans a bit of cushion.

Dun dun dun…. If you don’t like my thoughts on girls and cars kind of posts, I’d skip the blog for today. Consider yourself warned.

Curiosity Exists Here

There’s something that I’ve always wondered, since the time I started to have any slight interest in cars. And that’s if, if it were even possible anyhow, becoming a car model would give me a break into the hobby that I love.

I am no different than most girls in that I aspired to model status. I want the reinforcement that I am pretty, beautiful, somebody worth having around. I always figured that if I ever ended up as a model, I may finally be able to shake the nagging voice that nit-picks every little bit about my physical appearance.

Namely, that I’m fat. I am not lying, okay? Not sure if you can tell by any pics I’ve posted how many people tell me this is ridiculous, or even the fact that I know it’s ridiculous… Don’t bother trying to fix it. I’m searching for some validation that I won’t get, because I know that no matter what it won’t be enough and I won’t ever weigh what I’d want to. (An even 100 pounds or less. Preferably less.)

So…. Seriously now, what does it take to make it as a car model?

Qualifications?

A love for mini skirts? Yeah, I’ve got that. Moving here means another fresh start and chance to once again reinvent myself. And I want to live in mini skirts and dresses way more than I already do. Just love them.

But I’ve never been a fan of them and heels. Just never felt like I could pull it off. Plus my aversion to heels because I can’t drive in them… (Yet? I hope.) I’m glad that my savior comes in the form of knee-high flat heeled boots. They’re a true car girl’s best friend — classy, trendy, sexy AND drivable, all in one.

Looks…. Yeah, I’d rate myself as a fail in that category. I just don’t have the stunning looks most models have. I spend a lot of time cursing my plain ethnicity for that one.

Car knowledge is the one thing I’ve got, that and a lot of passion for cars and tuning. Then again, it does seem that most models exist solely based on looks…. Or at least looks are weighed a lot heavier than knowledge.

In a nutshell, I don’t think I could hack it out in the industry if I tried. Believe me, though, part of me wishes I would try…. I just would never manage to get far if it was required to “whore myself out.” The husband would never stand for that. (And I would never expect him to.)

It’s a Mystery…

I guess it’ll always remain a mystery to me. Alas, I’ll continue to be jealous of the girls who get access to big names (umbrella girls, anyone?) or paid to be at conventions like SEMA. You know, things I’d kill to do because they’re totally my thing.

Anyhow, part of my feeling that I can’t hack it out in that job path led me into more of the writing/photography side of things. And while I’m not too sure of my skills right now, that’s what I’m working on overcoming. One day at a time, one word at a time and one picture at a time.

Who knows. Maybe someday I’ll have the chance. If not, I’m into making my own chances… SEMA won’t keep me out forever.

But…

Lately, I’ve decided to try it out anyways, after getting more encouragement than I thought I would. I’ll be working my way through all the mysteries and seeing if I end up anywhere or not!

If not, at least I tried. But one never knows… Right?

It’s the weirdest feeling ever to, at 21 years old, wonder if I’m just too old.

Too old? For what?

Too old to have my chance… Ya know? Maybe you don’t, so of course I’m going to try and explain it.

At the autocrosses here, there are a few kids who run Junior Karts. When I went to the Test & Tune event in February, there was the cutest little five year old boy out in his little kart for his first race day ever. It was totally adorable watching him.

It didn’t hit me until later on when I was looking at some magazine features of cars and driver bios that wow, a lot of them are either my age or not much older than me.

I swear I’m boring…

Most of the time I feel like the most boring person in the world. Repeatedly. I have yet to fully shake this awful feeling.

And it’s not like I’ve never done anything in my life!

I went to England for three weeks… A few years ago. I went racing at Hallett, but not recently. All I really, consistently do is autocross. Which I guess has become my normal, so I don’t see it as that exciting.

No matter how many other people seem amazed to find out that I regularly race my Miata, it’s my average life. I’m not an awesome racer, because I don’t have enough seat-time to have become really good. I wonder if I’ll get the chance to have enough seat-time to become really good. I want to badly.

This is my normal... Probably far from normal by some people's standards.

I also want to go and race in a professional series. I’d like to go to some of the organized drift events someday, for sure. If I could get into Redline’s Time Attack, I would in a heartbeat.

I mean, most days I’d settle for having a car that people talked about, lol. The Miata definitely wasn’t the way to go for that. I needed my RPS13 in order to ensure that I’ve got a good shot at making it happen someday.

Then again….

I’m not too old, right? I still have years to go!! It’s just rather annoying to see other people who have gotten so much further than I have at the same age.

Of course, I’ve only really been modifying cars for a year and a half at this point, coming up on two years. Racing for just over one. I didn’t get the benefit of being introduced to cars like this when I was little, or having been into them for that long.

Regardless of my age, I’m going to still try my best to get to where I want to go with them. Moving to Washington state is going to be a huge step in the right direction, I think.

I’ll be in an area with a track locally, and a few others within driving distance enough to tempt me out to them. Not only that, but grassroots drifting exists up there! I have a feeling my RPS13 and myself will fit in well and be very happy.

Just wait and see what I manage to do… I intend to make my life not so boring, on my own terms.

But if you think I’m already not so boring, thanks!! I’m trying, for real.

I get a bunch of hits from searches for the terms “car” and “girl,” mostly together in some fashion. Yes, that was on purpose… When I decided to create a real car blog with a title that I knew I could stick with, putting “car” and “girl” in the title was just about a requirement.

Why was I such a stickler? Because I knew the image I wanted to portray. I take a lot of pride in showing that girls can get down and dirty and play rough just like the boys can, and I can build a car with the best of them. I wanted to capture anyone’s attention who was remotely interested, to show that cars and girls means more than a scantily-clad model splaying herself over some exotic.

It is what it is, no?

What I wish is that thinking of a “car girl” didn’t conjure up images worthy of adult magazines. That it didn’t mean bikinis or going braless. That, for me to have any hopes of getting any attention whatsoever, I’d have to forgo the clothing I find so comfortable.

There’s part of me that wishes I was “car model material.” I’d like to think that it’s normal for any girl to wish they were model material. That they could be whisked away, glamorous photo shoots for work and no worries about logging hours behind some desk. You know, a somewhat luxurious life. (Please don’t try to argue against that, okay? It beats a lot of jobs.)

But why is it always that way?

And I get that most “car girls” are only there for as much show as some cars exist for. Some are pretty, some are just nasty and others are downright whores. There’s classy and then there’s trashy… To me:

Trashy — most magazines that I see, which makes me stay away from them hardcore.

Classy — it’s always pin-ups here that set the bar. That will always be endlessly classy to me, and I’m thinking about getting a pin-up girl tattoo sometime in my future.

But there’s the small overlooked female population that are true gearheads. We don’t exist solely to prey on car guys, rather we see them as buddies who share a hobby important to us.

Girls can build nice cars too, like this Civic that made it to Super Street. (Which I found on Car Domain, but the girl behind the car is actually rather nice, or at least that’s my impression from talking to her once.) Oh, and of course there’s the other female blogger on my blog roll and her CTR.

Here's my personal exhibit for a nicely built girl's car. Most people don't argue.

We’re out there. We exist. Yet our existence seems constantly in denial from guys who aren’t willing to search. Or those who just won’t take the time to teach a girl who’s willing to learn but might not be open about it.

Funny enough, from my experience guys who don’t know a bunch about cars are more willing to talk to me about it than another guy. Some just don’t realize how much I know, others are more comfortable admitting that they aren’t super smart about it and want to chat with someone on their level, or who won’t make fun of them for it. Works for me, honestly, because the friends that I have who are levels above me take their time to teach me things or correct me when I’m wrong.

Why can’t…

It be okay for a girl to be more than a pretty face? For a girl to know how to drive better than a guy? For a girl to know more about a car mechanically than a guy?

Why does every girl associated with cars have to be wearing next to nothing, just to be noticed? (I wonder this period, not just when it comes to cars, actually…)

I just be me, and be praised for being a girl who’s model size but not necessarily dressed like a slut?

I feel okay with being me and not dressing like that… :/

I’ll be alright with the fact that I’ll probably never be a model, never garner a bunch of attention or ever feel pretty enough.

But hey, at least I can drive, right?